We all deserve ownership over our own sexual and body sovereignty.
We all deserve deeply nourishing intimacy and connection.
For centuries and throughout the majority of cultures in our world, we have been sexually oppressed and disembodied. Our collective cross-cultural experiences with sex, sexuality, and our bodies have been taken from us and shattered in the fragmentation of trauma.
The cross-cultural impact of repressing and disowning our sexuality has significantly distorted our ability to come into connection and healthy relationship with our innate and authentic expression of our sex, of our ability to speak and know our innate sexual needs, desires, and ultimately, of our ability to get the sex we want.
My experience guided me to create and use as a foundation of my work are the “Tiers of Three Relationship Blueprints” in which the impact of our sexual disembodiment is experienced in three layers. Through The Personal, The Familial, and The Collective.
“The Personal” are unconscious and conscious negative + positive experiences that develop our associations we directly internalize about our sex/sexuality/pleasure. (I.e. survivor of sexual transgression / traumic experiences involving sex, LGBTQIA shaming/repression, to name a few).
“The Familial” are negative experiences and associations we indirectly received that are perpetuated in our family system (i.e. shaming/guilting, beliefs/actions modeled by caregivers around sex/sexuality/pleasure, infidility witnessed by the child, care givers survivors/transgressors of sexual truama, tragic event, etc.).
“The Collective” are negative experiences and associations we indirectly and directly receive that are perpetuated through “The Collective” (i.e. social media, conflicting intersectional identities, cultural beliefs/narratives that are shaming/guilting around sex/sexulity/pleasure).
These “Tiers of Three Relationship Blueprints” are the foundational blueprints of how we shaped our sexual narratives and beliefs about our sex and sexuality. These various teirs have significant impact in the way we perceive desire and the way we have learned to be (or not be) authentic in expressing our sexual needs, (i.e. these tiers all impact our ability to get the sex we want, need, and desire).
In our time together, we will journey into understanding these blueprints and how they impact the relationship with your sexuality, your sexual narratives, and your bodily felt sensations that block, distort, or challenge intimacy, connection, and pleasure. We will explore ways of cultivating and being with desire to reclaim ownership over your sexual and body sovereignty, within your relationship with yourself, as well within current/future partnerships.
Sam is dedicated to diversity, inclusion, equity, and justice for all bodies, especially for BIPOC + LGBTQIA + Poly/Kink+ communities. Sam has extensive experience working with diverse individuals and couples from varying racial and cultural backgrounds. Sam is welcoming, inclusive, and acknowledging of intersectional identities and of those who identify as alternative relationships and poly/kink+.
Samantha Elisabetta Tomarchio (she/her), MA, AMFT #111695
Supervised By: Jessica Wallace LMFT #43927